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February 03, 2009

Battery-operated smoking

NJOY - Fake SmokesNJOY looks, feels and tastes like a cigarette. Or so they say. They're battery-operated and rather than producing real smoke, contain water which creates a "smoke-like" vapor.

I'm not sure how to feel about this. As an ex-smoker who still misses cigarettes 10 years later, I admit they pique my interest. The company's messaging appears targeted to current smokers, but it's interesting to think the smoking experience could exist without all the harmful effects... blink.

Nicotine amounts in NJOY range from 0mg to 18mg but the FAQ suggests nicotine without all the other carcinogens in cigarettes might be just fine. There's even a variety of flavors: regular tobacco, menthol, apple, strawberry, and vanilla.

Tempting, right? If I did try them, I'd go for the 0-nic. But there goes the fun.

Can you blow smoke rings with vapor?

December 30, 2008

Real tickets and pretend violations

Shortly after moving to Virginia in 2001, I received a traffic ticket for speeding. I was doing 40 in a 30 on a boulevard I'd still argue should be marked 55 based on the traffic patterns. But I paid the fine and tried not to speed there again.

Sticking with the trend of relocation + ticket, I was lagged last night for turning at a red light apparently marked as No Turn on Red.

Between you and me, I've been turning on red at this light since early October. I guess the ticket was inevitable. But, I truly didn't know the warning was posted, and confirmed on the way home tonight the sign is near impossible to see in the dark.

Here's a bit of Colorado quirk: The ticket is a little over $100 and comes with 3 points. Yay. But, if I pay the ticket within 20 days, the cost drops closer to $70 and there won't be points assessed. The "improper turn" offense will also convert to "broken headlamp." Huh?

Okay, Colorado. I'll pay your ticket within 20 days. And I'll fix that uh, headlamp problem, ASAP. Wink.

December 27, 2008

Pretty, shiny bears

Gummi Bear Lights
Is it just me, or does $500 for 5 of these gummi bear lights seem reasonable? Okay, maybe not - but they would be an adorable addition to the rec room. Alas, the money is better spent on bills, savings and donations. Dammit. 

October 26, 2008

Hello, world.

Long time no see.

Shout out to the jackass spammers for the 915 mostly-junk comments I just flipped through. MovableType loves throwing the good stuff in with the bad, so I have to sift through them all.

HBO just did a coming-up-next promo via my DVR for Never Been Kissed (yes, I recorded this) and said it stars Drew Barrymore and Luke Wilson. But Luke Wilson isn't in the movie.

My wireless network didn't work tonight (well, this morning) and it took me 30 minutes to discover I'd turned off the radio on my laptop. I didn't know that particular button even existed, and probably has for every wire-enabled laptop I've ever owned or used. Mildly disturbing.

We did a lot of touring today, all pretty close to home. I'm crushing on Colorado.

So, hello.

October 12, 2008

Farmer Vincent's fritters

It takes all kinds of critters to make ‘em.

One favorite childhood memory is more random than most: A group of friends and I snuck into the movies with borrowed older siblings to watch Motel Hell. Likely one of the campiest and crappiest horror movies ever made, it featured crazies cooking-up unsuspecting travelers as sausage. As a kid, the best part was how the victims were kept buried in the garden all veggie-like to be fed in preparation. I also loved the old guy riding a rickety bicycle around town yelling “we’re doomed, we’re doomed.”

Most of us hadn’t even hit our teens yet, so the movie was likely far more adult and interesting to us than the producers ever intended. But the fun memories of the night certainly stuck - which may have included my first cigarette, by the way.

A neat side effect of moving are the random memories generated by packing/unpacking. Not sure what exactly sparked this one, probably a combination of the move and the crap I’ve had playing in the background from FEARnet.

September 21, 2008

Mystery solved

Hotel - Rubber Mat MysteryYawn. Passing the maid's cart in the hall this morning, I noticed she was transporting a new rubber mat. Apparently the Great Disappearing Mat Adventure is nothing more than a rubber mat shortage. Boo.

Only 3 more days! Then it's more hotels as we drive across the country. But I'm okay with that. Actually, I'm GREAT with that. Can't wait!

September 16, 2008

Hide & Seek

The bathtub mat is gone again. Also, the daily tip I leave for the maid was left behind. Is it a bribe?

This is fun. But weird.

September 13, 2008

I'm rubber, you're glue

I’ve been here at the hotel for nearly two weeks. Already on two separate days, the little rubber tub mat has disappeared while I'm at work, and then resurfaced the next day. The mat normally sits on the side of the tub rolled-up and standing tall.

Where does the mat go when it leaves? Does it have its own agenda that doesn't always include me? Do I share my mat with occasional guests whose feet are deemed more important than mine? Does the maid take it to an overnight rubber cleaner?

Many questions. And while this is not one of the world’s most intriguing mysteries, it's certainly a curiosity.

The mat is there this evening. I’ll keep you posted.

September 10, 2008

My particles feel funny.

LHC - Oh, my!Are your innards feeling a little fiery today? No worries, it's just Cern flipping the switch to recreate the aftermath of the Big Bang.

Nothing major.

September 04, 2008

Chronic change

Ever since I started these "moving to Denver" shenanigans, I’ve been a lousy blogger. It’s not that I don’t think about it, I just keep missing the moment.

Basically, the world took a backseat this summer to my life changes; I mostly missed the Olympics, the political conventions, and even vacation. I didn’t make it to Bar Harbor this year.

I left my job after more than a decade. I’m with a new company. I am selling my home, and moving across the country. I’m buying a new house. I’m leaving friends and family behind.

It’s been a lot of ME lately, and quite frankly, I’m pretty sick of me. I’m glad to be in the new job – and having a great time – but I’m ready to be settled into the new house NOW. I want to get back to the semblance of a normal life. And I hate waiting.

(And for the record, I hate making others wait too.)

August 15, 2008

I never could tie my shoes.

Zip Sneakers
My parents had a hell of a time teaching me to tie my shoes, which of course is a requirement to enter public school. Actually, it wasn't that I couldn't tie them; it's that my artistry wouldn't stay tied. My aunt Rose was the one who eventually taught me shoelace staying techniques before kindergarten.

I was a long and lanky child... my limbs and appendages grew before their time. I was looking over the top of kids' heads through the fourth grade, where they started to catch up. Truth be known, the early spurt made me appear perpetually spastic as I was full of energy but fairly uncoordinated. Hence the lace issues.

Anyway, while I don't want to buy a pair of zippered Converse clones today, they sure would have done wonders for me back in the day.

July 08, 2008

A Friday buy?

iPhone! Friday?
I'm getting very mixed feedback from the voice inside my head. Oh, friends and the media, too. My Blackberry is crying. Will there actually be a long line in Sterling, VA?

June 09, 2008

Sit and spin

Hula Chair - Gadget UniverseAn article about the Hula Chair came through my news feed this weekend.

Intended to help you “exercise while you work,” the chair puts the sitter though fairly rigorous spinning. The kind where typing and drinking a glass of water doesn’t work as well as its marketers imagined – check out this clip from Ellen as well as an MSNBC reporter's tests.

Imagine some of your best (and worst) colleagues at their desks or in a conference room full of these babies conducting business as usual. Fan-freaking-tastic!

By the way, as someone who still loves the Tilt-a-Whirl at carnivals and is a practiced office chair twirler, I’d love the ride. But doesn’t the mechanized chair spinning reduce the actual, um. exercise? And I use that term loosely my friends.

June 08, 2008

If you see a heat wave...

... should you wave back?

Seriously. And for those of you who asked, no, I'm not actually used to this because I'm from Florida. It was much cooler back home this weekend.

June 06, 2008

Out of the frying pan and into the fire.

I received this urgent weather alert first thing this morning:

EXCESSIVE HEAT WATCH IN EFFECT FROM SATURDAY MORNING THROUGH MONDAY AFTERNOON

I picked a bad week to give up air conditioning. The AC in my car is acting up. Over the hills and through the pea soup of humidity, it's off to the Ford dealer I go!

June 03, 2008

Fish -N- Booze

Fish-N-Bozze, Jefferson NJ

I snapped this driving down Hwy 15 in Jefferson, NJ a couple of weeks ago.

Imagine the end of that namestorming session: "For chrissakes, Tony, we only serve fish and booze!"

And so it went...

June 02, 2008

Nothingness

"I did nothing. I did absolutely nothing, and it was everything that I thought it could be." I salute you Peter Gibbons!

I stupidly left Office Space off my list of rewatchable movies. I caught half on Sunday afternoon as I blissfully did my own form of nothing, including designing a blog for a friend, getting my hair done, and eating a delicious grilled cheese on oatmeal bread.

True nothingness is not easy to achieve. 

May 14, 2008

I feel the need to curse.

Sign language - "asshole"Rather than spout obscenities, I surfed for a little creative venting.

The image to the left is "asshole" in sign language. Now you can one-up the bird-flippers. You're welcome.

The great Internet swear word project: Choose your favorites. (Most you'll recognize from junior high).

Wear it on your sleeve: Foul-Mouthed Shirts. Blah. T-Shirt Hell is funnier - it's where all the bad shirts go. Heh.

Piggish Latin: Ancient vulgarities just didn't pack a punch.

Google nets 750K results for "creative cursing" - have fun. I'm so friggen over this. For tonight, anyway.

May 07, 2008

Paint by numbers

Tips for nail painting
Just in case it wasn't obvious, the bottle of Opi top coat I bought last week included instructions. Plus, the pamphlet was in three different languages to bring nail painting to the masses. Brilliant.

May 06, 2008

Shake, rattle and roll

VA earthquake - May 6, 2008 
Left Coasters wouldn't blink over a magnitude 1.8 quake, but our little shaker was all over the DC news tonight.

If the quake was felt out in the grasslands of Dulles, I missed it. Or I felt the rumble, assumed it was a plane, and it didn't register. Either way I wasn't a part of the story.

April 23, 2008

It's in the cards

I sent a coworker a Hipster Card today. Not this one. Hipster's collection is a mix of cute, subtle and lowbrow attempts at humor. On a quick browse I found a  healthy collection of retro-themed cards perfectly tailored for the people I know. Yes, many of my friends are odd. And your point is?

(Please pardon Hipster's French.)

Hipstercards.com E-Card

 

April 22, 2008

Sign of the times?

Crosswalk Sign - Upside down
This is directly outside the gate I use to enter the office... ouch!

April 15, 2008

Grip-be-gone

Remember my complaint about the new Diet Coke caps? Okay, maybe YOU don't remember, but I sure do.

So I took pictures... the good cap Florida still offers vs. VA...
Old Coke Cap - tall!

New Coke Cap - short!

Seriously - how are we supposed to deal with the shorties?

April 14, 2008

I hate maggots

Beef in the pantry - yum.

This was posted at work with good intentions. Aimed at foodies, but clearly not written by one.

Please, keep ground beef in your fridge or freezer until you're ready to cook. Otherwise, your "experiment" will be less about spices and more about killing vermin in your pantry.

March 20, 2008

Embrace your impatience

Great quote in last week's EW magazine: "Patience is for the weak." Amen.

Context? Who needs context?

March 16, 2008

Devil's food cake?

I found Charm City via Lefsetz. Browse through, the designs are amazing, no matter how good/bad the cakes actually taste.

Hard to pick a favorite but the Exorcist cake really jumps out, green vomit and all.
Exorcist Cake - charmcitycakes.com

March 13, 2008

Pump and watch.

Spending $40 to gas-up is much easier in Ashburn, VA, since Sunoco installed televisions at each pump.

Private little tellies with a variety of programming - not just advertising.

TV at the gas pump 

WTF? I was curious to see if their Web site mentions any of this (it doesn't) but their stated mission is, "to be the best and most convenient place to shop, and work." Now they want us to play there too, apparently.

But how is it convenient to work at a Sunoco station?

March 09, 2008

Weekend gremlins

Sometimes the little stuff pisses you off but you're not really sure why you're grumpy. Not so this weekend.

Let's start with the stolen hour. The Uniform Time Act of '66 allows for local exemptions and I'm not changing my clocks.

Coca-Cola reduced the size of the diet coke bottle caps. Grip-be-gone.

We paid over $1K last week to take care of a squirrel problem in the attic. The job was finished Friday. The squirrels returned on Saturday. (But the call to the company? Not yet returned.)

Comcast gave me the wrong code sheet to synch the new HDTV with the cable box, helping me lose another three hours this weekend.

Turning on the main master bathroom lights flips a breaker. Could be related to the squirrels. 

I got my first Mac computer on Friday. I dare anyone else to say, "I told you so."

Oh, well, gremlins be damned -- I enjoyed the weekend anyway. 

February 17, 2008

Don't forget U(2)

I am completely sleepless in India right now. Okay, I had an hour last night - but way not enough.

And I just thought of my poor blog. Talk about kicking the habit! And I don't want to... so some U2 to make my little guy feel better...

Is it getting better?
Or do you feel the same?
Will it make it easier on you now?
You got someone to blame

Yep, that someone is me! Blame all the travel. And stuff. 

February 06, 2008

Groovy.

 Groovy

I have nothing to say. But that's just an illusion.

January 29, 2008

Fun fact chaos

Twice in the past couple of months I've been tasked with sharing 20-30 "fun facts" about myself in a matter of minutes as a team building exercise.

It goes like this: Each person is given a sheet to move around the room sharing and capturing quick facts about  everyone. Every fact shared must be unique, so the scope of the info is relative to the size of the group.

A mixed blessing at best; hearing what people share IS fun. (Well, except for those who "share" favorite songs and movies.) But remembering interesting bits about yourself is a pain in the ass.

Here's some I've used:

* Stephen King scared me away from red meat as a teen and it pretty much stuck
* A bowling ball fell on my head when I was 17 (ouch)
* I appeared with my ex on "Unsolved Mysteries" (in a local murder reenactment)
* My given name is Lucy -- I go by the nickname of my middle name
* I was once busted for drag racing my 1971 Pontiac LeMans
* My first car was that 1971 Pontiac LeMans bought at an auction for $300
* I'm a first generation American
* I can sing "Jingle Bells" in Gaelic
* I'm ambidextrous
* I can touch my nose with my tongue
* I lettered in Volleyball, Soccer and Bowling (really) in high school
* My name is Lucy and my dad's name was Desi (see Nick at Nite)
* I had my ears triple-pierced while visiting England in the late 80s
* I can't get a pedicure because I'm too ticklish
* I was born with a broken foot - and had a cast by the time I was 3 days old
* My family nicknames are "Bootie" and "Boots" (thanks to the cast)
* I went to a 2-day Bruce Springsteen event (long story)
* I play the piano (although way out of practice, and own one too)

Hearing what others say sparks ideas -- but you're guaranteed to think of several cool things long after the event is over.

January 28, 2008

Shameless sobriety

I'm surprised the D.C.-area didn't make the Top 10 Drunk cities. Or my hometown in Florida, come to think of it. Me and my friends are drinking our share. What's the matter with the rest of you?

January 14, 2008

Complimentary spam

A refreshing approach for junk comments: "Your site was so interesting and informative I had to call a friend to tell her about it. Great work."

Yes, tell ALL your friends!

The deleted URL contained "freehostplace.com" and I'm not suspicious.

January 10, 2008

Pedro knows

Saw this sign again on i-95 heading to Florida the old fashioned way in December. Sr. Pedro makes the trip feel longer with his countdowns, but this one makes me laugh.

When will South of the Border go PC? Blah.

South of the Border - You Never Sausage a Place! 

 

January 04, 2008

Wisenheimer

My satirical friend Ron sent a quick email this morning apparently worried I would put the FOL theme song out of my head. Well done – I didn’t even need to click the link to do the trick. Dammit.

January 03, 2008

Twisted sister

My friend called from Orlando tonight to see how I was doing. In a tasteless effort to make me laugh, she responded to my "Hello?" by singing the theme song from The Facts of Life. Nice. (Freak.)

I hope to wake up tomorrow without the damned song stuck in my head.

Oh, I'm back -- and feeling much better, thank you.

November 14, 2007

A series of unfortunate events

Tuesday morning was a fucking mess.

First, I opened a can of tuna for my cat and the lid flipped fish goo and water all over me. Love getting dressed twice in the morning.

Next, after returning to the kitchen, I carried my mug into the dining room and spilled coffee all over the table and floor. Dammit.

When I finally got onto the road, traffic was running smoothly despite a light rainfall. I called home, and as I passed an intersection, saw a cop ready to turn onto the road. I was doing 55 in a 45 but had time to react and slow down. No problem.  

However, just as I passed the cop, I heard "pop!" and my passenger windshield wiper fell off. The police car was now behind me and I began to worry he'd ticket me for the bad blade (and potentially the speeding). I turned my wipers off since the rain was only misting.

I decided to excuse myself from the call to concentrate on my road issues, but the line went dead before I could say goodbye. I looked at my Blackberry and it was cycling crazily between voice dialing, my calendar, email, etc. WTF?

A minute later it began to pour. I turned my wipers back on and the lame one scraped against the glass. Squeak. Squeak.

I arrived at the office without police intervention. The day got better.

November 13, 2007

Aussie txting

I took my Dad to the Outback Steakhouse for his birthday. Everything was delicious and he enjoyed himself. More importantly, the coasters were fun.Coasters from the Outback!

 

 

 Coaster from the Outback!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

November 12, 2007

A different kind of Q-outing

Best. Humidifier. EverI am a QVC shopper.

I'd be happy to hold this info closer, but I bought this nifty little humidifier for the office and the point of purchase is a natural part of the discussion.

Funny, I never knew how deep inside the QVC closet I was, until someone asked if I shop online or via the cable channel.

Both he and I were relieved by the answer: I shop QVC online.

October 31, 2007

In the toilet. Again.

Pennsylvania toilet paperI don't plan to always take toilet pictures when I travel. But, I couldn't resist snapping this bizarre TP placement at a rest stop in PA, shortly before the NJ border on i-80. Note the little bits of paper on the floor -- evidence of prior attempts to grab a square?

So much for never saying Stretch Armstrong again.

 

October 26, 2007

Sage social advice

"Never go to a second location with a hippie."
 
I loved this tidbit from Alec Baldwin's character, Jack, on 30 Rock last night. You can tweak the warning to fit a range of only-fun-at-parties people.
 
I need to watch this show more often. 

October 14, 2007

Basedow is coming!

John BasedowFitness celebrity John Basedow is coming to our area for a book signing this week. I wonder if there will be tricky dance moves or high-impact gyrations?

Sing along with me: "Fitness made simple!..."

 

 

September 20, 2007

Happy evil guy

I was searching for "evil eyes" to express some tongue-in-cheek angst today via email.
Smile!

I like him.

September 18, 2007

Fantastic!

Curse bubble!While traveling overseas we needed a semiprivate way to bitch amongst ourselves. We were the ones running around with our visas, sometimes in places which required our own security guards, so good behavior was generally wise.

But we had complaints to voice, at least to each other. I needed a polite way to express surprise or disappointment, like a way to say get the fuck away from me while standing in touchy-feely crowded queues in subtropical temperatures.

Fantastic! spoke volumes. It works at home, too.

September 16, 2007

Donut bullying

Snapped this at the grocery store Saturday. I didn't buy any. The sign intimidated me.

Donut intimidation 

 

September 13, 2007

Gulp

PerrierMy favorite non-alc drink.
Far more delicious than Pellegrino.

They're owned by the same company, but the Perrier source wins.

I hope the source isn't a city sink crossed with a siphon.
Yay Aquafina!

August 07, 2007

Spam patrol

Who opened the can now? There's spam everywhere this week, including this blog's comments and one of my email accounts. One of the two I check regularly, anyway.

July 10, 2007

Vacation packmania

Big Bertha the two-week superbag!Top 10 gripes of summer travel:
1. Packing enough - but not too much - for two weeks
2. Helping someone pack who's back home... 800 miles away
3. Keeping an eye on the luggage... hoping it travels with us
4. Unpacking when we arrive
5. Not having enough hangers or drawers to fully unpack
6. Re-packing at the end of vacation
7. Finding room to pack all the new stuff
8. Buying a new carry-on to hold extra items
9. Slowly unpacking for three days once I'm home
10. Doing it all over again the following week for another two-week trip!

Note the theme? But, as mom would say, we should all have such worries.

Vacation ~minus 4 days and counting. 

July 05, 2007

Rated G for every-freaking-one

Just checked my blogroll sites and discovered blog rating via SmartCookie (PG) and Six (NC-17, duh). My blog? G-rated.

I was only chastised for:
* murder (2x)
* hell (1x)

Hm. May I introduce you to my blog category, random bullshit? Also, a quick search for fun words previously used here (tsk, tsk):

G-Rating* fuck
* crap
* bitch

While my matinee rating is cute, the robots clearly have issues reading Movable Type.

 

June 25, 2007

Dinovan

An odd purple van passed me on the way to work this morning. Here's a snap via my Treo: The top of the van is covered with plastic dinosaurs.

The photo masks the gaudiness of the plastic toys. This almost looks like a gremlin attack, which would be cool except for the purple paint and lack of a logo to indicate it's a commercial truck. Interesting cargo in the back, too.

Dino-van 

June 20, 2007

Crazy mum

My mom is benignly whacky, brilliant, but always slightly off-kilter. She's a bit of a packrat and keeps a lot of stupid stuff, like flashlight manuals.

But she's nowhere near the big leagues: "My mom likes to buy old glass crap, and also other old crap that's not made of glass." Oh.

May 31, 2007

Kevin Smith's super-ego

Kevin Smith - B-Day party

Such a friggen conceited way to celebrate the big 3-7, Kevin Smith: Throw yourself a birthday party in a public venue, charge fat admissions, and hang out with hundreds of strangers who want you to talk about yourself all night.

Very nicely done.

May 22, 2007

Liquid gold

My car has a 16 gallon gas tank which brings me grossly close to $50 for a fill-up, thankyouverymuch.

A quick search for better things to do with $50...

May 21, 2007

Perfect waste of money

Mandy bag - Coach

May 14, 2007

Spam, scams and Gerard Butler

Just peeked into my junk comments. 542 missives from robots and losers to amuse me. Here's a selection of the (mostly repetitive) headlines, sans hyperlinks:

  • Sorry but I need the money! Buy SOMA!
  • Hi! Nice design! Dental insurance.
  • Fine and pretty site! Very good owner! Viagra yellow.
  • Look! Only now! Discounts!
  • Great work and pretty colors! Adult movies!
  • You know end news! What is this? Discounts!
  • Interesting News about soma! read it!!!
  • I'm back! Viagra.

This one was intended for my latest Idol entry:

  • Yes and he and her brother Clemens Brentano published that Gerard Butler the phantom of the opera.

May 13, 2007

Butterflies are bugs too

Jason's takedown of the centipede reminds me that about ten years ago I was attacked by a spider in the shower. Well, it was lurking ominously by the soap, so I hopped out half-soapy. And since my ex was already at work, I called a friend to come over, kill the spider, and turn off the shower for me. I hate bugs.

May 07, 2007

Ingrown spiders

This story about spiders in a boy's ear made me laugh today. No offense, kid.

When I was a teen my best friend told me a "true" story about a woman who'd scratched a lump on her cheek and dozens of baby spiders ran out of her face. Gullible me took the story to heart and had spider-tinged nightmares for days.

When I told my parents back then, they laughed. Sometimes they still mention 'the spiders' and laugh.

But ha! I knew Mary's story was plausible. Icky spiders.

May 03, 2007

Numerologist's delight

Received this via a random email today...

At three minutes and four seconds past 2 AM this Sunday, the time and date will be:
02:03:04 05-06-07

April 29, 2007

Go-go-gadget... scraminal!

PetPeekFound Pet Gadgets tonight via TFTS.

Why resist a site that sells the Scraminal or the PetPeek, which gives dogs a bubble boy view of the neighbors? Friggen genius.

While the site looks kind of dead - including an outdated copyright on the home page - there's corporate news updates avail from March.  

 

April 27, 2007

Oh, no! ... Um, wha?

Breaking News on CNN tonight:
ANS's estranged mother has blocked baby ANS and her real daddy from leaving the same place the estranged mother faught for dead ANS to leave.

It's time for everyone to do the hokey pokey and move the f* on.

March 26, 2007

Lucky strike

My Irish luck isn't always bad. This weekend I won a contest I didn't realize we'd entered (entry was automatic based on presence) until they called my name and said I'd won $2K in cash. It was rather surreal and I am not sure if I was more embarrassed or excited to be called on stage at the time but the money is nice (duh).

March 20, 2007

Random compliment of the day

A comment from a headachy colleague... 

"You're much better than an aspirin, Suz."

 

March 07, 2007

Ice, not vengeful lepers

Tonight's weather statement: FREEZING FOG ADVISORY IN EFFECT UNTIL 7 AM EST THURSDAY. The all-knowing BBC informs me the fog will leave a smear of ice. Fun!

March 05, 2007

Bad Naked

Nude Gym

Kudos for letting it all hang out but please watch the Melissa episode of Seinfeld to understand why you should never exercise naked in front of others.

February 13, 2007

Messy weather statements

I think Weather.com is trying to tell us something. Hard to tell...

SHENANDOAH-FREDERICK VA-PAGE-WARREN-CLARKE-NELSON-ALBEMARLE- GREENE-MADISON-RAPPAHANNOCK-FAUQUIER-LOUDOUN-ORANGE-CULPEPER- PRINCE WILLIAM/MANASSAS/MANASSAS PARK-FAIRFAX- ARLINGTON/FALLS CHURCH/ALEXANDRIA-STAFFORD-SPOTSYLVANIA-HAMPSHIRE- MORGAN-BERKELEY-JEFFERSON-PENDLETON-HARDY-WESTERN GRANT- EASTERN GRANT-WESTERN MINERAL-EASTERN MINERAL- INCLUDING THE CITIES OF...WASHINGTON...HAGERSTOWN...FREDERICK... WESTMINSTER...GAITHERSBURG...COLUMBIA...BALTIMORE...ANNAPOLIS...

Continue reading "Messy weather statements" »

February 06, 2007

Colder than a witches' ...

Tonight's Temp - 02/06

January 30, 2007

Pride of Chucky

A colleague confessed today that he and his wife have the Fur Real cat locked away at home. (It was a gift.)

The cat is creepy: After powering-up the furbearer, they abandoned it in a spare bedroom. Two months later, it's still purring away. Purr.

Purr.

 

January 25, 2007

Life, Fur Real

Fake CatNo vets, no hair balls, no fuzzy clothes, no dead birds, no kitty litter. Um, no cat.  Still, if you want a cat but you know, don't want a cat, the FurReal breathing cat might do the trick. 

 

 

January 07, 2007

Spiders, clowns and drawbridges

Bucksport BridgeThe collective wisdom would list things like snakes, spiders, heights and clowns as the most common nonsensical fears. Also crowds, close spaces, sharks, and more loosely, the unknown.

My answer to the requisite, "What are you most afraid of?" is drawbridges. I'm not especially fond of spiders, clowns or sharks, either... but just thinking of a drawbridge gives me the willies.

Sometime in the mid-80s, my dad took me on a trip up to the cabin in Bar Harbor, Maine. Driving up US 1 from Portland took us across the old Bucksport bridge (far right in the photo) while it was undergoing repairs. More descriptively, we drove over planks 130 feet in the air because they'd stripped out the roadway. There was no road.

Related? You bet. I like my bridges with solid bottoms and without lift mechanisms.

January 02, 2007

Splatter zone

Hippo Zone
2007: I resolve to curse more in my blog.

I was chatting with Mary last week about nothing and everything, including blogging. She resolves to start a blog this year (about time!). She also noted that the language in my blog is, "oddly vanilla for someone who loves the versatility of the F word."
 
Ouch. For 2007, I'll work on controlling my self-imposed TOS impulses.

The sign: 
A warning posted inside the Homosassa wildlife preserve. Nasty fucking hippos.

November 28, 2006

Yes, indeed.

To Do

November 19, 2006

Weird happenings.

What a week. No doubt one of the weirdest weeks ever at AOL.

The weirdness that is TomKat got hitched Saturday. How much does it suck to be Nicole Kidman right now? Her new husband tucked away in rehab, her ex-husband scoring major press for his new marriage. Ouch.

This week will be filled with all sorts of family weirdness.

I'm seeing a pattern. 

November 05, 2006

Another planet's Hell

Posting about Satan's Halloween party reminded me of this quote:

Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.
-- Aldous Huxley

 
Then again, maybe we're just a bunch of sea monkeys sitting on some kid's desk.

Lovin' the dark humor

Irwin on South ParkLast week's buzz about South Park and Borat's premiere got me thinking about my own sense of humor. 

I didn't draw too many conclusions but realized that the dark nature of my taste can occasionally surprise me. Of course it's in my genes -- the Irish are known for our sardonic takes on life.

I personally dislike toilet humor but beyond that it's fair game -- outside of unfunny material. I particularly dislike the lousy joke teller who insists they're funny.

Last week's Halloween ep of South Park is a good example of an offensive pick-me-up. I was saddened by Irwin's death but "his" appearance at Satan's party... c'mon, even Satan thought it was too soon! While I recognize why his family would be upset, the audacity was the heart of the joke.

October 27, 2006

Dance sister, dance!

Dance Sister, Dance!Two fun links made the rounds at the office Thursday.

The first is another movie title game, this one using office supplies: http://www.stationerymovies.com/. I still heart the Dark game best.

Tears flowed when one of our VPs was put into a pink leotard and really got his groove on with Dance Sister Dance. (He was impressed with his package.) The Scissor Sisters clearly know how to promote their new album.

 

October 16, 2006

Confessions of an ad player

OK, I admit it - I am one of those people who plays with rich media ads online. I like changing the colors, watching the video clip or hearing the ring tones. The ads don't push me to run out and buy the merchandise but they engage me in the associated brand for a few minutes. That's the whole point, right? I might even remember them next time I'm shopping.

I hate the ads that pop-up and do their thing when I casually/mistakenly rollover. It's intrusive. I like to be in control. Febreze intruded tonight with a WTF-sized pop-up featuring audio confessions of "odor killers." I only listened to the guy in the spotlight. He did his killing then took a nap. Lovely.

(Note that the paparazzi headline was unintentional - I do not think Febreze will help celebrities in need.) 

Febreeze

October 12, 2006

Dieting buzzwords: Calorie deficient

EnvigaCoke is launching a new calorie burning beverage, Enviga: "There's calorie, low-calorie, zero-calorie, and now we offer consumers negative-calorie products." Um, okay.

To reap the full benefits of Enviga you must drink three cans a day. This will burn a "net average of 60 to 100 calories" and $1.29 a can. Hm... that's four bucks a day and about the same calories you'll burn watching an hour of television.

Here's an idea: drink plain old green tea and find alternate ways to burn calories.

October 09, 2006

Back online - no more twitching

We had a fun weekend that seemed even longer than three days. In a good way.

On Friday I caught myself exhibiting good blogger behavior - at several different points of the day I made mental notes of blog-worthy items to post later.

Here's a few from the last few days

  • Elton John exceeded my expectations but a few songs were mildly irritating. Still a good time and yes, I would go see him again. He did a 10-15 minute piano solo which literally brought tears to my eyes. Elton's got me thinking of dusting off my own piano. This recap covers the show.
  • It is easy to hang out in a casino and not gamble. I had a great time after the concert just hanging out and having a few many (free!) drinks without dropping more than $50. Oh, and I won $2,500 for my troubles playing three quarters on a 7s slot machine. (Unfortunately that was enough money to earn me a W-something form for my taxes, too.)
  • Two new Fall shows I thought were good (but not necessarily sustainable) were recently canceled or are on the verge of it - Smith and Kidnapped. Oh well, I only caught one ep of each.
  • I was reminded this morning in the office that I have yet to catch Dexter and based on friends' reviews I should enjoy. I will catch it On-Demand.
  • Advertising in space. Who knew there was a Congressional ban on orbiting billboards?
  • I hate when people eat potato chips anywhere near me. I go a bit mad from the bag crinkling. I'm even nuttier about open-mouth crunches.

September 28, 2006

Darkness didn't prevail

I beat the darkness and found all 50 of the movie titles. Mostly without cheating. I did get a few hints for the last couple: The dark door, woman with children and the bug in a jar. The woman was difficult - the other two were too easy for hints - doh.

Definitely one of the best viral links to ever hit my IMs and email.

M&Ms Dark Game

September 27, 2006

Snaps for speed traps

Speeding??Crimes were undoubtedly happening elsewhere tonight but the local cops were lurking en masse with their speed-catching machinery.

My route home from the office includes a run up a boulevard that cuts through a major subdivision - a total speed trap with a 35 mph max.

Seeing someone get pulled over, I took a quick phone-snap of my speedometer. Go ahead - accuse me of speeding. I'm so ready!

September 19, 2006

Random Tuesday blogging.

Arrrgh! It's a pirate's... oh, forget it. Talk like a pirate day got enough attention elsewhere.

A friend sent this link tonight so we could share some mid-90's lost in America flashbacks: Amanda Across America.  Safe trip, Amanda!


I've started tagging my posts with 'suzieaim' to see what happens in Google, et al, and noticed Technorati is not picking it up. Weird. Maybe typing suzieaim here will help the machines. By the way, use suzieaim to ping me on instant message or to email me at suzieaim@aim.com.

September 13, 2006

Stupid Suzie Tricks

I don't know if it was 9/11, the rainy weather or basic absentmindedness, but I toiled through a good six hours at work Monday with my shirt on inside-out. I seriously don't think I've ever done that before while sober or while not dressing in a car.  
 
To my credit, I'm talking about a sheer gypsy shirt (or J-Lo shirt as one colleague calls it) and there's limited seams. Plus I always cut the tags out. (Neck ticklers!) I noticed because I expected a bit more sparkle (a hint) when I was looking in the mirror.
 
Six hours! Four meetings, dozens of conversations.
 
I was either the source of a little office humor or it really wasn't noticeable. When I revealed my discovery, Nancie said she couldn't tell at all. I chose to believe her. Besides, they really would have told me.

September 12, 2006

iTunes 7 - yay... ugh.

I was very excited about the release today of iTunes 7. So excited that I downloaded and installed it tonight and upgraded my 'pod, too. Unfortunately I also DELETED everything on my ipod. WTF? I really don't know - and I don't feel like fussing with it anymore tonight. Sigh. At least I do back up all my files. Yay me. Boo iTunes. Hrm.
 

Crazy Face!


September 08, 2006

Human relevancy

Is it possible to convince someone that they are relevant? Feeling a lack of relevancy can lead to a whole bunch of negative thinking and ultimately negative actions. The frustrating part is when the person is completely and utterly relevant to the situation, place and time but don't know it.

If you don't believe yourself relevant when you truly are, do you become less so?

Catch-22.

August 23, 2006

Shoot me now.

Signed on tonight to catch up on emails (work) and myspace (also sorta work) and my cable went down. So, I'm on dial-up and it's incredibly fu*king painful. Good to experience the other side once in a while to empathize with peeps who can't -- or won't -- switch to broadband. That's what I'm telling myself anyway.

This week has been a real pisser.

August 09, 2006

Meeting gold

I was on a 2-hour conference call yesterday with a consultant dialing in remotely. There were 3-4 of us calling in from the office. It started after 5, so a little late in the day for a long call, but my presence was 90% informational, so I was able to catch up on email muted in the background listening in. 

But then... as the call started to wrap up, the consultant went to the loo -- and never even paused... just kept right on talking and detailing next steps.

He made the whole thing so terrifically natural.

July 24, 2006

More on my violated car

So this morning I get into my car and start sorting through some of the papers I had stuck in an envelope Saturday (thinking they were all from my glove box) and noticed for the first time that they were not all mine. Ick. They're not even from one of my close-by neighbors. I wonder what stuff I have floating out there? This whole thing is really unsettling.

July 22, 2006

Icing on the week

Woke up to the doorbell this morning at about 8:15. My neighbor wanted to let me know that there had been a "bunch of break-ins over night" -- someone(s) had gone through the neighborhood breaking into our cars. My car was not exempt -- the thieves (the police said it was likely two or more juveniles) had popped our locks and ransacked each vehicle. They took loose change. They took one satellite radio from a woman down the street. But mostly, they only took coins.

Aside from the mess of everything from my glove box strewn onto the floor and seats, I only lost about $3 from my change holder. But I still feel oddly violated. Hrm.

June 20, 2006

birth of a blog

My requisite first entry. I've been in and around blogs for a few years via my work with a large 3-letter company. I have created, maintained and eventually deleted several blogs in that time too, with time bearing the brunt of the blame for my lack of follow-through. 

This blog, however, is a keeper.
Really.