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December 30, 2008

Real tickets and pretend violations

Shortly after moving to Virginia in 2001, I received a traffic ticket for speeding. I was doing 40 in a 30 on a boulevard I'd still argue should be marked 55 based on the traffic patterns. But I paid the fine and tried not to speed there again.

Sticking with the trend of relocation + ticket, I was lagged last night for turning at a red light apparently marked as No Turn on Red.

Between you and me, I've been turning on red at this light since early October. I guess the ticket was inevitable. But, I truly didn't know the warning was posted, and confirmed on the way home tonight the sign is near impossible to see in the dark.

Here's a bit of Colorado quirk: The ticket is a little over $100 and comes with 3 points. Yay. But, if I pay the ticket within 20 days, the cost drops closer to $70 and there won't be points assessed. The "improper turn" offense will also convert to "broken headlamp." Huh?

Okay, Colorado. I'll pay your ticket within 20 days. And I'll fix that uh, headlamp problem, ASAP. Wink.

December 17, 2008

I curse at jaywalkers.

Do Not WalkApparently it's not until you live or commute downtown that you truly experience the teeth-grinding ire of a jaywalker crossing your path.

I admit, I've done my share of jaywalking over the years. Not long after I moved to Denver I even asked a couple of colleagues walking back from lunch why we were stopping at the DO NOT WALK sign. I mean, c'mon, we have the right of way, don't we?

No, Pedestrian, you do not have the right of way unless the sign says WALK.

My car weighs a couple of tons. I keep the brakes, tires and assorted fluids in good shape but that's no guarantee I can turn the corner and stop when you pop in front of me. Oh, and your look of annoyance when I have to stop short makes you not only act like a dumbass, but look like one too. Freak. Dumbass freak.

October 12, 2008

Farmer Vincent's fritters

It takes all kinds of critters to make ‘em.

One favorite childhood memory is more random than most: A group of friends and I snuck into the movies with borrowed older siblings to watch Motel Hell. Likely one of the campiest and crappiest horror movies ever made, it featured crazies cooking-up unsuspecting travelers as sausage. As a kid, the best part was how the victims were kept buried in the garden all veggie-like to be fed in preparation. I also loved the old guy riding a rickety bicycle around town yelling “we’re doomed, we’re doomed.”

Most of us hadn’t even hit our teens yet, so the movie was likely far more adult and interesting to us than the producers ever intended. But the fun memories of the night certainly stuck - which may have included my first cigarette, by the way.

A neat side effect of moving are the random memories generated by packing/unpacking. Not sure what exactly sparked this one, probably a combination of the move and the crap I’ve had playing in the background from FEARnet.

October 02, 2008

Move almighty

The house closing came and went without a hitch. Not bad considering the financial woes all around us. The 1,650 mile drive across the country was blissfully uneventful and the weather was good. i-70 through Kansas was fucking endless.

The movers came today - a couple of hours late - and the furniture looks great in the house. Power, gas, and phone are all set.

The only real flub in my careful orchestration was by the cable company - the installer showed but some of his equipment wasn't working. Cable boxes, that is. So we get another visit tomorrow between 1-5pm. I managed not to implode when things didn't go exactly as planned.

By this time tomorrow we'll be fully moved in and out of the latest hotel. Amen!

September 23, 2008

Tomorrow's the day!

The closing is set for 4pm MT and everything appears to be in order. So, unless the sky falls down or my bathtub mat locks me in the hotel, I'll be an official Colorado resident tomorrow night. Almost.

September 21, 2008

Mystery solved

Hotel - Rubber Mat MysteryYawn. Passing the maid's cart in the hall this morning, I noticed she was transporting a new rubber mat. Apparently the Great Disappearing Mat Adventure is nothing more than a rubber mat shortage. Boo.

Only 3 more days! Then it's more hotels as we drive across the country. But I'm okay with that. Actually, I'm GREAT with that. Can't wait!

September 17, 2008

Overstaying my welcome?

I received mail at the hotel today - a postcard from Florida. Very cute.

My note to the maid this morning scared my mat straight - it's back home tonight.
Please return my mat!


September 16, 2008

Hide & Seek

The bathtub mat is gone again. Also, the daily tip I leave for the maid was left behind. Is it a bribe?

This is fun. But weird.

September 15, 2008

Television time? Not so much

I love checking out the new shows of Fall TV, even if most don’t make it to a third viewing from me. This year’s most promising include Fringe, My Own Worst Enemy, The Mentalist, True Blood and Eleventh Hour. After two eps I’m fading away from Blood, but Fringe remains interesting after its 2-hour premiere.

But please know this: Living in Denver makes scheduled TV viewing a nightmare. Network shows broadcast in Central Time (read: they start at 7pm); pay channels, including HBO, broadcast the West versions; and the national channels like TNT, TBS and USA, broadcast in Eastern Time.

The DVR was clearly invented by someone living in the unholy wasteland of Mountain Time.

September 13, 2008

I'm rubber, you're glue

I’ve been here at the hotel for nearly two weeks. Already on two separate days, the little rubber tub mat has disappeared while I'm at work, and then resurfaced the next day. The mat normally sits on the side of the tub rolled-up and standing tall.

Where does the mat go when it leaves? Does it have its own agenda that doesn't always include me? Do I share my mat with occasional guests whose feet are deemed more important than mine? Does the maid take it to an overnight rubber cleaner?

Many questions. And while this is not one of the world’s most intriguing mysteries, it's certainly a curiosity.

The mat is there this evening. I’ll keep you posted.

September 09, 2008

Temporary housing

I've been whining to whoever will listen about the suckfest known as living out of a hotel. Luxury hotels with full amenities? Pshaw.

I'm not really all that selfish or spoiled. But it took me days to realize I'm homesick. I miss Conan and I miss my stuff. Not to mention the people I left behind. My life currently lacks the comfort of familiarity.

As I said, it's all about me lately.

September 04, 2008

Chronic change

Ever since I started these "moving to Denver" shenanigans, I’ve been a lousy blogger. It’s not that I don’t think about it, I just keep missing the moment.

Basically, the world took a backseat this summer to my life changes; I mostly missed the Olympics, the political conventions, and even vacation. I didn’t make it to Bar Harbor this year.

I left my job after more than a decade. I’m with a new company. I am selling my home, and moving across the country. I’m buying a new house. I’m leaving friends and family behind.

It’s been a lot of ME lately, and quite frankly, I’m pretty sick of me. I’m glad to be in the new job – and having a great time – but I’m ready to be settled into the new house NOW. I want to get back to the semblance of a normal life. And I hate waiting.

(And for the record, I hate making others wait too.)

August 25, 2008

Big ticket distractions

WTF is your problem? Do you think blogging to entertain you is ALL I have to do with my time? Between starting with a new company, house hunting, traveling across the country and back, I've been a little busy. Okay??

Sorry, it's just my blog-less guilt talking. I've missed you too!New house - Colorado